Some Trauma and Relationship

This podcast can be found here: Some Trauma and Relationships

This world is as it is because of trauma, it has been built by trauma, being conditioned to it does not make it less so. Trauma more than anything has built this world. There are constant wars and violent deaths, rape, a lot of cheating, robbing, stealing, denial all justified done on this planet affecting everybody, it is a violent physically and emotionally harsh planet, it is all about food and shelter, the rest is superficial, the religion, race, etcetera, superficial stuff, does it have to be for humans?

The Khumalo name for this planet is umHlaba, translated literally, in a rare instance in linguistics, the literal translation is the only one that makes sense, umHlaba means the place of piercing. Let us not deny reality about what is happening at this moment, this planet is about being constantly pierced, being constantly hurt, constantly pricked by a blade usually penetrating in one way or another either emotionally , psychologically, many times than necessary so we say often physically the end result being death, the taking of one’s life, ones ultimate property on this planet.

Is the name umHlaba, the place of constant variations of trauma apt for this planet? What we do know is that everything is in a relationship and that all relationships lead to a loss of freedom due to the energy needed to maintain them, implying location and time. To have won something or lost something, to have made a gain or a loss in the usual manner of a loss means one was in a relationship.

The most important thing one will leave behind is a child, the child carries the code, the genetic code. The child ensures variation in the human genome. Thus, the child not only the continuity of the genes of the parents, but ensures variety in the human genome, the greater the variety the greater the randomness at play. A society that respects knowledge must understand this alongside the reality that knowledge is part of the random process as all relationships, this must be reconciled in the mind with greater variety brings greater randomness.

The child being the most important thing they will leave behind, one will make sure that child has the best food, shelter, clothing as well as knowledge for them to best survive. Some knowledge coming from the parent in the relationship, but with food, shelter and clothing being provided up to a certain age depending on the relationships the parents are involved with. As they get older and venture outside the child gets knowledge through their own experience, but return for food, shelter, and clothing at the so-called nest, after gathering knowledge if done properly will serve them in their life outside the “nest”.

The reasons why the child is important have been explained, the continuity of the genes and the added variety into the human genome. The second part has been misunderstood leading to the name of this planet. The first part is in many ways determined by the parents, the continuity of the genes. Without the essentials the child will not make it.

Continuity of the genes makes one’s child a priority over all other children. Getting together they say was meant for our protection against wild animals and those who want our little piece of territory. If we appreciate the reality that the child is also a gift to the group, we would have respected the reality that the child also adds variety to the society’s genome pool allowing society to take greater advantages of randomness. This has not been understood.

The group that was created to protect itself ended up competing with itself for position and power, did it really happen this way? Who knows, but today there is hierarchy in society and a competition for positions within the group. Position meaning one’s child gets access to better survival than another’s child. Position meaning one thinks it is somehow okay to make the laws favor them in getting food, shelter and clothing meaning their children have first access to the best that society can provide.

It becomes a competition for one’s child completely ignoring that the children of others are adding variety and a chance for society to take advantage of randomness. Often these rules and positions are at the point of death. Only a knight or a Samurai could walk around with a sword, keeping their right to having food, shelter, clothing before anybody below them. This rule obviously enforced by arms that nobody else can have. Their children are taught that it is by brute force that they have first claim to food, shelter, and clothing in the society, to accomplish this they must be the only ones armed. They recognize that the others are capable that is why they ensure they are disarmed.

What is society about, it is about following the rules and culture of the society at the point at best of being ostracized at worst having your life taken away from you. If those are the rules the majority on earth want, then those will be the rules that are followed, or one will perish. The primary factor of survival is knowing your place, or you will be punished, the threat of trauma, that is the same as trauma in many degrees. |This conditions one to accept situations where randomness is being downplayed to benefit others.

The government is the ultimate authority in any society. You disobey them at the point of punishment that is backed by organized violence. If a child will have any chance of survival in society, they must learn to understand authority. Ultimately to disobey authority is death. That is one of the primary reasons’ parents are there, to show the cost of disobeying authority.

Parents are alive, they are not dead, or one will be called an orphan. They are the ones to teach a child the first lessons of authority and the cost of crossing that authority. If a child does not listen, they are punished. This teaches them that there are consequences for not listening. This is the order that is desired here for our survival, nobody can be truly correct, but that is the reasoning. The means of punishment change with the times, but basically, it’s punishment for not following directions.

The child’s first lesson of punishment best come from the parents. It is a warning that if you do not take the direction of authority there are consequences. A child’s first introduction to trauma. But like play fighting, all fights are play fights until you are an adult, and all trauma is not meant to be as destructive as when you are an adult. As an adult to cross authority can be death, if as a child it is death, then the parents have failed to secure their genes.

That it is expected, an expectation is not a certainty, it is expected that parents want their children to survive, that is why the introductions to trauma, to punishment, to be pierced, as some call this planet the place of constant piercing is from the parents, show the child to be aware of authority.

As an adult the system is far rougher the parents who provide food, shelter, and clothing willingly, respecting authority and taking direction means food, shelter, and clothing. Taking food, shelter and clothing is trauma, those are the basics of surviving, the essential is food.

Not only are the first lessons about trauma from the parent as a warning about authority. When a parent punishes a child the child is told why they shouldn’t do it, but more importantly the parent remains with the child guiding them, giving them treats, making sure they do their homework, things that will help them later on in life. It is about the survival of the child. The survival of the genes of those parents.

The child then is passed on to some community centre to dump the children, we have called this place school, many other animals in nature have the same concept not just humans, a place where those not ready hang around and learn to be ready. Penguins are a good example out of many, penguins chosen randomly out of numerous examples at one’s discretion.

At school, the school system has a set of rules, and the punishment is seen as how seriously the school system views breaking that rule. The school system is like society for a child, they must now get through life with others constantly around them. Other children being given authority over other children formally. Children being rewarded, with the parent your reward is being their child, that ice cream for a 6-year-old is because it is a child of those parents that bought it. That certificate of merit in a formal school setting is showing that this child met such and such a criteria over other children and gets a reward, a game that is played throughout life.

When other children are given authority over others it means the system has chosen another child to be an instigator of trauma by reporting other children. These children would be the seniors, as seen by those running that education system as best to lead society in the future and enter adulthood with good recommendations, having being picked as a child to discipline other children, but still the school world is small and is merely training for the world where it is understood that it is your genes that are a priority over others at all costs and the result of this view point.

In the school’s system the teachers can only do so much. Punish so much, the amount of trauma they can cause on a child as a deterrent to behaviour that is deemed unacceptable. The school system at different stages will alert the parents and defer the problem back to the parents, for it is the parents who have the most desire for the child to make it to adulthood with the best tools available, when they can leave the care of the parents, the school is saying the child needs to learn now the rules that is why we are calling you. Concerned parents will take the message seriously given the location and the relationships of society in that location, the parents are participating in those relationships viewed good or bad does not matter, those are the relationships of that location.

That the school is concerned and have failed in their techniques of trauma that they can use outlined to them by the government. The government being the ultimate authority, understands what kind of full citizens they need, determine the amount of trauma a school can use to show a child what the government desires ultimately for a functioning society according to how government is organized. The final decision is left to the parents, will your genes understand the rules of the game, or will they be ultimately destroyed. The school system with directions from the ruling authority over those schools rules that at such and such a stage, the parents must be warned, the child is breaking the rules of survival in society, not that the child is failing, that happens once in a while, it is the child is breaking the rules of the order of society, the punishment ultimately could be death as an adult. The parents if they care must ensure the survival of their gene, the school will not be bothered after a certain limit.

It is here at school where the child will note differences in how other children are treated by authority that is not their parents. This is more a microcosm of the society they are in than being at home with their parents. The teacher will be conveying to the child the structures of society depending on how they teach the children and how they use the threat of trauma, punishment for not following the rules as need be. The child might see that suspicions are not the same, certain type of children might be suspected more than others; the child can pick this up from the teacher. The child of the mayor will be treated differently than the child of the janitor, this being one reason from discretion but there are numerous examples anybody can think of that is what the mind is there for, what is important is similarities in relationships can be picked up.

If the child of the mayor is treated different, it is for the same reason as why in heavily theocratic locations, the child of the priest will be treated differently from the others. Those others will be treated differently than the child of somebody who does not belong to that religion, all for the same reasons in relationships, who has first right to food in that society. A society has decided one way to distribute food, shelter, and clothing.

It is traumatic for a child who will find themselves the one to be suspected, easiest to punish, the easiest to inflict trauma on by the formal system, that is why the behaviour is there, to create and enforce expectations. A warning to change and get treated better, note it has nothing to do with any character of the child, the character is being built. Trauma, the mayor’s child see’s they can escape trauma easier than others, others know to avoid trauma they must change somethings that are impossible to change. A child is being told by society how difficult it will be for them to get bread in formal society, this they will understand just before becoming full adults, it is either they accept or they don’t, but they understand the trauma, the constant piercings that will happen.

Trauma is not just a physical phenomenon. It is used to cause change, there will be changes in the mind, the relationships of information, in this case behavioural aspects that are controlled in the mind. That is the reason for inflicting physical pain, ultimately taking a life. But is also an emotional aspect designed to cause change in a child’s mind. This will be done with other children; one will learn this in the playground. Little pricks here and there, all part of umHlaba, conditioning the mind, this way is painful, this way is less painful, signals always been sent. The child will become familiar with the power of the mob in school, away from the parents and return to the parents away from the mob.

The use of constant pricks and stabs is the way of society forcing a child into a certain space. These constant pricks and stabs are about survival, and the basics of survival is food, shelter and clothing. These constant pricks and stabs are there to remind the child of the relationships in that location. Who is stabbing, who is being stabbed constantly or the name of this planet would not be Trauma? One’s character is forged by relationships in society, relationships in their location. Mind you there is the internet, television, books, tools that inform, these all affect the individuals character, how many have really been to Antarctica in real life, but it is part of the television generations location through the television, now through the internet.

There is enough trauma inflicted on a child, or the threat of trauma by the time a child becomes an adult, that is how model citizens are created. At the core is access to food, shelter, and clothing, and all these depend on knowledge. The most important thing is one’s own child, forgetting the genetic value of each child. The child is important to the parents genetically because it is their genes surviving. But we forget that everything is random, and we where supposed to be in a society to protect each other, what other reason is there?

If we where meant to protect each other, the second reality of what a child means must be taken into account. The child is a unique genetic structure adding diversity to the society’s genetic makeup. Though all humans, we have different genetic maybe at the smallest levels, this adds to the variety of the genetic base of the society.

To appreciate this genetic difference is to appreciate randomness, only then is it truly worth being in a society. That is now protecting each other and the offspring. By accepting that the child is a unique genetic gift to the society, and to accommodate the uniqueness of each child randomness must be the principle of society, accepting randomness means accepting now who can do what in society and this can only be done by culturally removing trauma associated with being oneself, using one’s talent outside cultural norms because of cultural fears that are instilled merely to decide who gets food, shelter and clothing first. The cultural norm should be it is a random process.

Accepting that a child is not just a gift to the parents but society as well. Being a gift to society will be expected to use their potential to the fullest and the only way to allow this is allowing choice in what knowledge a child wants to use to get food, shelter and clothing with no cultural or rules of society written or unwritten to hold them back for the child of another member of society, who already has an advantage and does not also need cultural protection, if they are not good enough culture must not protect them, it is a random process. One’s child should not just accept trauma just because they are better able to contribute in some area somebody but culturally can’t be seen to contribute. That is teaching other children to rob other children and other children must accept it.

The child learns vast hypocrisy in the school system. Hypocrisy itself is mental trauma, though not physical it is very harmful, as the child is taught great philosophers who talk of things like the golden rule, love one another, in science they talk of everything is random but here some use trauma’s to keep others in place. Then when they grow, they learn that small lies can save a life because of the hypocrisy of everything. The child begins to categorize human action, when is it okay to be a hypocrite.

Accepting all the meanings of the child’s genes would make a world respectful of the reality that everything is in a relationship and all relationships are random. Or is it really one society, or societies exploiting other societies and making sure those others have secondary access to food, clothing and shelter.

I thought about discussing Trauma in such a manner after I read a tweet from Terri Lomax, a tweet on rape, @TerriLomax on twitter. Now you know, you can reference my thoughts better, I read somebodies tweet that’s what gave me the idea for how to talk about relationships in reality, good thing I wrote it down, not good to forget such things.

Bhekuzulu Khumalo

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